This question is a quandary that many of the people I meet in my private practice are faced with. Maybe your family or friends have told you that you are. Maybe you have encountered issues with the law because of your behaviour whilst drinking. Maybe your doctor has indicated it is an issue. Or maybe you are noticing the effects your alcohol use is having on your physiological/ psychological well-being.
Not surprisingly, there is no cut and dry answer that can be generalised to answer this question for all people. For each of the above possibilities however, a different set of reflections may help to guide you.
Friends & Family
In the case of family and friends telling you to change your ways, ask yourself, what is it specifically that they are wanting you to change? What effect is your drinking having on them? Is the family budget being affected, is your functional capacity at home inadequate, is it that your commitment to the family seems diminished, your behaviour, your moods? While reflecting on these, try to answer the question, how important is my drinking to me? Is it more important than my family/ my friends? There is a well known adage in AA that a person has to hit ‘rock bottom’ before they finally decide to change. Now, everybody’s ‘rock bottom’ is obviously different. For some it may be an argument with a spouse that gets out of hand, for others it might be an unending cycle of addiction that results in homelessness. There’s some significant individual variance. Whatever it is for you, it is worthwhile reflecting on.
Legal Issues
I have spent many years in various roles working with both mandated and voluntary clients who have had issues with the law because of their drug/ alcohol use. As you may know, just like the law is not a sufficient deterrent from people using drugs, it is also not sufficient to keep people out of trouble whilst drinking. Alcohol has such a deleterious effect on our brain’s decision-making capacity that the implications of the law often slip through people’s drunken consciousness without consideration. If you are having issues with the law because of drinking, does this mean you are drinking too much though? Not necessarily, though it does suggest that the way in which you are drinking may need looking at. Are you drinking and driving? Are you drinking to excess in a location which is likely to cause you trouble? Does alcohol have such an effect on you that a run in with the law is inescapable? What is your relationship with alcohol and what does alcohol bring out in you that doesn’t agree with the expectations of our society?
Your GP
The next reflection is potentially easier than the others. Just do what your doctor says, right? :o) A doctor’s assessment is directed by her experience of you and the information that you provide and so may I encourage you to always be honest with them. Secondly, they are directed by their medical knowledge. According to the NHMRC we are recommended to drink no more than 2 standard drinks on any one day to reduce long term health risks and no more than 4 standard drinks on any one drinking occasion to reduce risk of alcohol related injury. Research further supports the concept of having at least 2 days free of alcohol per given week. In reality, this is a generalised recommendation that is difficult to conceive of for many people and it will likely be revised in the future again and again as we come to better understand its direct implications on physical and psychological health. At the end of the day, alcohol is a toxin and each individual’s genetic and biological capacity to rid itself of toxins is unique. Perhaps even a reduction in your drinking by just one drink a day may have a significant positive effect on your physical health both in the short term and the long term. Chat to your GP and other treating professionals about this further.
You
Finally, perhaps you have noticed yourself that you are drinking more than you would like. Are your energy levels low during the day or you are sick of waking up foggy? Are your thoughts less clear and productive throughout the day than they used to be? Alcohol may not be solely to blame for these but it certainly may be a contributing factor. Reflect on how you use alcohol once more. Do you notice yourself using alcohol to get through challenging situations or emotions? Is it boredom, anger, thirst, tiredness, loneliness that triggers your drinking? These are important questions that you may have already considered. Once you get to know your drinking patterns, you will be in a much better position to decide whether you are drinking too much or what action you need to take, if any.
Regardless of your answers, please hold no shame along the way. Own your answers and be proud of these new insights you are gaining about yourself. If it is that you have decided you are drinking too much, take this answer with both hands and not another bottle. Reach out and do something about it. Firstly, make a commitment to change. Inform everyone of your decision to change and how you are going to be doing it. Through this step we hold ourselves accountable to everyone around us as well as us. Then take the next step. If you are interested in doing this on your own the next time you are drinking, here are a few practical recommendations to begin with;
Set limits for yourself and stick to them (be honest with yourself)
Start with non-alcoholic drinks and alternate with alcoholic drinks
Try drinks with a lower alcohol content (there are some amazing tasting mid strength beers available nowadays, or ask the bar for a half pour if you’re drinking spirits).
Eat before or while you are drinking
Don’t participate in every round (nobody will complain too much unless its your buy)
If you need support, reach out to a psychologist in your area specialising in this area, a drug/ alcohol treatment facility in your area or online, or a supportive friend. If none of these are available to you get in touch and I’ll do whatever I can to point you in the right direction.
Take care people
Tristan